Actions "DO" speak louder......

My hunny has been gone for three days, I dont think we've been apart this long in the 20 years we've been married....honestly I dont think we have....we've had the occasional "long weekend" but not 5 1/2 days...and with NO communication for 3 of those days...that's been the hardest part.

It's been a relatively easy time, the boys for the most part have been awesome, we've had some great cuddling time at bedtime, great times together doing all sorts of things, we've been busy. 

However, this time alone has made me realize that it IS our actions that speak louder than words.
People who love me have called, emailed, texted or made some effort to reach out to me to be sure the boys and I are ok.  It is to those people, my friends....true friends and family that I am most grateful TO and FOR.

Thank you for the calls and messages just to check on us and make sure we are doing ok.  I am eternally grateful for you, for it is friends and family like you that mean the most, that are a blessing to have.

Thank you for your actions.

Emotional Rollercoaster...................

OMG......I hate that saying but oh my does it fit the week i've had......

You know getting older doesn't bother me...I will be 40 next saturday, okay there I said it.

40....FORTY....CUARENTA....FOR-OH....yes, me.....40.

and honestly it really, really, really doesn't bother me.

For starters...
I am in the BEST physical shape i've been in......since highschool...
I look better than I have...since highschool....
I FEEL better than I have....since highschool...
I have a husband that loves me no matter what I look like....
I have two amazing children that love me, no matter what...
and I have friends that support me, NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
and I have a God that loves me more than any of the above...He always has and He always will.

All that aside.. 40 isn't bothering me in the least....BUT....

My baby turned 7 on thursday, I should be happy, thrilled and elated, but I wasn't.
I couldn't shake the sadness that literally flooded my heart....
it consumed me, it ate at me, it tore whipped my emotions all day thursday and even today....

Dont know why but it did.....

for those of you who dont know me, 16 years ago this past thursday, I lost my only sister to a silly and totally unavoidable car accident....wont go into that....  She was 22, I was 23..almost 24.... a year minus 6 days after her death, my mom died.
Marla died Feb 25, 2004..........Cooper was born on the same date marla died, 9 years later....he nearly died in childbirth.....Mom died Feb 19, 2005

I think the combination of what Gregg calls a "major milestone" of turning 40, he would know he did nearly 8 years ago ;o) and the rememberance of my great losses and my baby's birthday is what has contributed towards my "funk"....maybe so....

So I wanted to write to my mom and my sister to let them know I am proud to be turning 40....Marla didn't even really get her 20's started, so sis I am wearin 40 with PRIDE for you.  Mom...I am healthy....I'm fit and athletic and doing REALLY GOOD....I'm thinner than I was when I got married, got pregnant, lost you both. I know you both are proud of me, I KNOW you are.  I miss you both dearly, I will and can overcome this funk...I have the best husband and group of friend trying to help me (M especially)  and I know you are both proud of me.  You should see my two boys....they are beautiful beyond measure, they love us and they love God....they know who you both are....and like me they think it "sucks big ones" that you aren't here. 

 I love you both, always have, always will....you're never far from my thoughts or my heart.  I will turn 40 with pride and joy and think of the party you would be giving me if you were still here....I will toast you on saturday and feel you in my heart as I become the best 40 year old that I can....and it's all thanks to you both.  You've helped me see the good in people and most importanty that life is too short to hold grudges or be petty....I love you and miss you both.

Whew..........I feel better already.

Wow.....has everyone been this busy???

Feels like ages since i've had the opportunity to sit down, think a minute (without interruption) and just blog...

CHRISTmas has come and gone.......

A new year will be here tomorrow night.

We had a great Christmas, the boys were happy with what Santa brought and what mom and dad were able to find too.  Peyton was happy to once again assume his position as Santa Tracker and followed NORAD to see when the jolly fellow was coming our way......to ensure a proper bedtime, of course

Cookies were once again placed for Santa's delight.....although Dad thought he might enjoy one of my homemade fruit bars, so we tried it out this year and low and behold he loved them.

This year Cooper's instructions were "Half clothes and Half toys, got it?"  LOUD AND CLEAR SON!!  He was happy that Santa and his parents obliged......a new sleeping bag, really cool water bottle, baseball bat and glove, a new football and a really cool camoflauged airsoft gun complete with holster and bullets

Peyton on the other hand didn't really care as long as the presents were under the tree.....

a set of perfect push-ups and an iron gym, mammoth crocs, bakugans....this kid was happy.....way to go Santa, ya did awesome again this year!!

It wasn't a Christmas tree filled with hundreds of presents,

but Nanny and Pawpaw were here,

 so was the spirit of giving as well as receiving and the most important part was the spirit of Christ....

Thank you Lord for one more blessed year, thank you for not abandoning us, for always being there to provide for us in ways we can't begin to imagine, but most importantly for the gift of your Son.

Thank you for CHRISTmas!

Wow.....has everyone else been this busy??

I've been wanting to write for two weeks and haven't had the time.....
is everyone this busy??

I had a Christmas Party,4th grade field trip, karate competition, church, another Christmas party...work, kids, babysitting, the gym.....sheesh....

but the best part of it is.....3 1/2 more days and then over 2 weeks of VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPIE!!!!!!!

I had so many pictures to post, so many cute things to write...but this is all time would allow.

oh well, til next week when I can play catch up.  Everyone have a great week, Blessed Christmas and as the somewhat cheesy but so true of a saying goes..."Remember Jesus IS the reason for THIS season".....oh how I'm so thankful for that gift.

Best night of my life EVER....ok without my family.

So last night turned out to be "Ladies Night Out".......

Patty and I had ben DYING for a good girls night out and well, last night was it.  THANK GOODNESS Marina and Hollie came too, without them the night would have been good and enjoyable but the laughs and fellowship would have suffered just a bit.

So off to dinner we went....Two Urban Licks, if you've never been SHAME ON YOU.  The food and atmosphere are the best in Atlanta, HANDS DOWN!!  The appetizers were amazing and the main course was to die for.  I had jerk chicken that was so much it will feed both Gregg and I for lunch today.  Patty had the Mahi-Mahi and her plate was cleaned (we all helped her on that one) Hollie had the Scallops with Gouda Grits and Marina had the beef rib (it was one HUGE rib) with their famous Mac & Cheese.....we were so not dissapointed.

Then after dinner we went to the Dark Horse Saloon over in Higlands, for a few more snake charmer laughs and cervezas......

After mid-town we decided to head home, but not before a stop on Chesire Bridge Road at the POSTER HUT......okay if you dont know what that place is, I aint telling....but i can tell you this I haven't laughed or heard Patty and Marina laugh so hard or much in YEARS......Hollie and I had our share but the two of them really enjoyed themselves....

Then I wont mention was happened on the way home from there, but I will say it required 4 unsucessful stops and finally an indecent exposure in a gas station parking lot....

then finally back to the southside.....Backwoods....Jaibait capitol of the world, that's all I am going to say about that.

Thank you to my wonderful girlfriends for an INCREDIBLE time, I had the best time ever, I hope we can repeat it again soon!!  Love you all so much. 

obligation, schmobligation.

Today I feel like I'm an "Obligation"

I HATE, HATE, HATE that feeling.....do ME no favors.  If it wasn't for my beautful, wonderful, innocent two boys, I would speak my peace.

That being said, I can't.

)@(*#&$)(*%R(*@&#)($&&@#($*&@(*#&$(*@^T)(*^%_@*#&%(*@#%(^  is what I really want to say, but I can't

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

Why do we let people affect us the way they do????

Why does it seem like some people are strong enough and or just dont care enough to speak their peace.

Why can't I be that way???

Oh well, God just help cleanse my lips, purify my heart and let my actions speak louder than my words, because right now my words are not pleasing to anyone's ears....

PARTY TIME!!

Yep it's party time at my house today........I finally did it...

this morning the bathroom scale was my friend and rendered itself to show a 25lb loss since the first of June!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOO

I am so proud of myself....

words are hard to come by...

Now it's the dreaded last 19 to go....but hey, I'm more than half way there.

I hasn't been difficult, emotional yes, difficult no.

I can't tell you how good it feels to have my size 12's feeling loose and baggy and to top it off for the first time in I can't tell you how long I bough a size MEDIUM shirt the other day and IT FIT!! I haven't been this weight in OVER 20 years....since my highschool days.

Maybe turning 40 in March wont be so difficult after all, I just have to keep pressing towards the mark and remember that this is for me and my future and it's been TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Not to mention how sexy it makes me feel around my hubby...........but i digress :o)

The gym has actually become my friend and I love going and miss it on the days that I can't.

I NEVER though I would say those words, but I have and it feels good.

I'm so proud of myself, Thank you God for never leaving me or abandoning me and I know you never will. Thank you too for helping me during those emotional days to realize I can overcome.

Whew....

What a week........i'm telling you what, i've never looked forward to the week being over as much as I did this week. it sucked, i mean stunk

A week off from work next week............no school for the boys, therefore......

Monday.....dentist appts for the boys......... golf with dad afterwards ..........Solace Center for mom (YIPPPPPPIE)

Tuesday dad's off again and we're going hiking, YIPPIE our last canyon on the Ga State parks "Canyon Climbers Club" then we get our T-shirts.

Wednesday we're going to griffin to see my grannie mamie

Thursday hopefully bowling with our friends and then......

Friday, the day the boys are looking SOOO forward to................. Y A R D S A L E DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told them what they sell they can keep the moolah....what a better way to get two boys motivated to be outside and not indoors in front of the "idiot box"and clean out those un-used toys piled up in their rooms!!!!

wish us luck, i need this crap GONE and i need the MONEY!!

hope you all have a good week, we sure hope to.